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Feeling Attractive Is Important – Not Only On The Outside
Feeling attractive, whether after having a baby, or due to other factors is all in your mind.
I want you to realise that you are beautiful no matter what any other person thinks or says.
As a first time mom, I know there is a struggle for some of us after giving birth and no “looking the way we used to.”
You can do certain things to change that.
No, I am not talking about dieting, exercising, losing belly fat, or doing anything to change your outward appearance.
For me, attractiveness comes from within and oozes out. If you are confident and attractive on the inside, you don’t need to prove it by wearing certain clothes, or putting on make-up.
Trust me, it will show.
“Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It’s much sexier than any body part.” – Aimee Mullins
If you are a mom, especially a first time mom like me, you have spent a great deal of time since giving birth wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt.
I became a first time mom in June 2015. Since then, my weight has gone up and down several times.
At first I was sad and blamed it on the fact that I couldn’t breastfeed.
All moms shed weight when they breastfeed don’t they? Oh, woe is me!
Before having my son, you would usually find me wearing a dress and heels or ballerinas, each strand of hair perfectly in place, and wearing light makeup.
Now my hair is not always done, and make-up? A thing of the past.
Over the past few weeks, I have wondered what I could do for myself to start feeling attractive again.
I love learning and sharing, so here are my tips to help you start feeling attractive again!
1. Love Thyself And Therefore Thy Body
It is important for you to embrace and love your not new, but different body.
Try to see your body as better and not worse.
Your body changed in order for you to create the miracle that is your baby. Celebrate that! 🙂
It took 9 months for your body to change.
Give yourself time to get your body back to a way that will make you feel satisfied about it.
Until then, love your body the way it is.
2. Do Something That Makes You Feel Good
Dance, sing, laugh, spend time with friends. Get a mani/pedi done, or a mud bath.
Wait what? Mud bath? Yes! Mud baths can help ease aches and muscle pains whilst having a soothing effect on the skin.
I love taking baths and using my favourite body scrubs and face masks because they leave my skin feeling silky smooth and I am relaxed.
Self care is so important for the soul.
Anything that makes you feel good will boost your confidence. You know what I like to do?
I like – no scratch that; I LOVE to dance. Whenever I dance I feel confident. Happy.
Dance in front of the mirror, make faces. It is fun and you will end up feeling good about yourself.
3. Talk To Your Partner
Your partner might have heard you expressing your discomforts and worries about not feeling like yourself.
So what can your partner help you do about it? I say instead of letting your partner guess, just tell him (or her).
It saves time. Some men get it quicker than others. Be straightforward.
Have a date night, or a stay indoors. Why not ask him for a massage?
Alone time with your partner is important, so get him to take the hint. (*wink wink*)'Beauty is what you feel about yourself, not what you see in the mirror.' Click To Tweet
4. Buy Something Sexy
You may not end up wearing it anytime soon but get it all the same.
A nice dress, a top, lingerie. Anything that makes you think “wow, I’m hot!” Because you are!
5. The Inner Makeover
This is the one I most highly recommend.
Stop the negative self-talk. Replace negative thoughts and words such as disgusting, fat or ugly with beautiful, attractive, loving, worthy, loyal, trustworthy.
Make it a daily habit to speak positive affirmations to yourself.
I am sure you have heard the saying “true beauty comes from within.”
Now more than ever you know it’s true isn’t it? Pretty isn’t a look, it’s a feeling.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha
Are You Up For A Small Challenge?
Try this out: Ask a male platonic friend what they think makes a woman beautiful.
His first few answers will be a reflection of inner beauty. intellect, character, confidence, and personality.
Not boobs and booty. So focus on the things that define your beauty.
You are smart. Intelligent. Kind. A mother. And a sexy one at that!
To be unique and special is a great thing. Embrace it.
*BONUS* – If you need a daily boost in helping you regain your confidence and self-esteem, download my A-Z Positive Affirmations Guide. ENJOY!
Have you recently had a baby and no longer feel attractive? Or found a way to get your sexy back?
Please share your experiences and suggestions with me in the comments section below.
I want to hear what you have to say!
I just had a baby a week and a half ago, I really needed to read this. Thank you.
I’m so thankful for having a husband who says sweet things to me all the time. I do feel uncomfortable in my skin sometimes but a compliment can go a long way!
I loved reading this post. Yes you must take out some time for yourself, do not forget before mom you are a human. You need self support and positive approach. Thanks for sharing this.
I really love this post, self love and appreciation is really important for all mothers. I tend to put myself last, thank you for the reminder.
Great article! It is so true, not just after baby but even during pregnancy and while your body is changing it is easy to feel down about all the new bumps, fats and curves. With my first I really struggled to except my new body. I now have two kids, my second one is 4 weeks old. I cannot wait to start exercising again. Not for weight loss but because that is my happy space, what makes me confident and feel good about myself. But the second time around the changes was easier for me to except, maybe because it was easier to visualize the reward and know it will be totally worth it in the end!
Thank you for sharing, this post really touched me. I have 4 children and I am very hard on myself because of my mom bod. I have gotten better and I am finding my confidence again, because of people like you reminding us moms that we are beautiful not matter what!
I wish I would have found this a year ago. I really could have used it. I felt very insecure for a while. Thanks for helping those that struggle
I am glad you said felt and not feel insecure, which makes me think you are feeling better about yourself now. It is a struggle but the sooner we accept ourselves, the better of we will be. Have a great weekend Shannon.
lovely write up as always Sheri.
For me, when i started exercising (which i hate) and saw results, it helped.
another thing that helped me, was buying some new clothes. i realised that some of my clothes were dated, post maternity clothes. I also kinda started getting used to wearing slouchy clothes. Oh, did i get my sexy back, yeah i did. But like you said, inner beauty helps alot too. once i got perspective on my purpose and turned 30 on my daughter’s christening, i had this new spring in my step.
Some good tips here. I like nos. 2 and 5 especially. #ABrandNewDay
What a lovely post! I think every woman and girl should read this! Thanks !! #abrandnewday
I think the inner makeover is what I need the most. Also the buying something sexy, everything I own is basically rags!
Lovely post and really good to think about what makes and can make us feel good about ourselves. Jog pants and comfy clothes feel so good and sometimes it’s a hard job to get out of them and have a good pamper, particularly as a new mum. I think I threw myself into being a mum and it was a good year before I was able to start on ‘me’. It took time for me to get over the shock of the whole being a mum thing. I love your ideas in your post.
I’m not a mom yet but this might help me really soon hehe! Every mom deserves to feel sexy and beautiful despite all the sacrifices they made:)
I loved this post Sheri amazing, i am not a mom yet but these pointers are so great i will definately keep them in mind.
I launched my new blog today so im back to blogging would love it if you could follow me and keep up with me on social medias
I’m not yet a Mom, but I am excited too for being one (though there are some fears and doubts). But since I’m surrounded with loving and caring people, it gives me positive energy that I can do it 🙂
Staying positive ALWAYS makes everyone beautiful 😀
Gorgeous photos and lovely post x Really good idea about talking to a male platonic friend about what makes a woman beautiful- I got lots of lovely feedback this way once and it made me feel much more confident x
Not a Mom, but it is still important for everyone to do things that make YOU feel sexy and confident.
Love this post and works for girls like me even though we haven’t had children. Loving yourself (warts n’ all) is a hard, long process but after some inner work … suddenly things just click together. Some folks get so hung up on things like clothes size number- yesterday I went shopping and bought a cute little playsuit in a size 8 (UK), because it fit. Then in another shop I bought a work top in a size 14 (UK) because that fit me best. Why should I let a little number stop me from being happy 🙂
I am so glad you mentioned this Sarah. I also no longer look at the numbers. I buy what fits. When someone asks what size I am – I say whichever size will fit according to the style, cut or shape of the dress, or pants I am getting. You are 100% correct in not allowing a number on clothes interfere with your happiness. I wish more people would adopt this way of thinking.
This post really touched my heart and I’ve not just had a baby, but I’m going through something different which has affected my body confidence. I’ve had one transplant and I’m waiting on a donor to go into hospital for the second. With all the medications and the fact I need to give my body time to recover, my body shape has changed and I feel like I’ve lost who I am…does that make sense? Your post gave me some of the encouragement I need to start trying to work towards feeling differently about myself and if I’m honest, I do need to look after myself a bit more. So thank you for posting – it’s made my day.
Sarah, Things Sarah Loves
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I am glad that my post was able to give you a bit of encouragement through all that you are going through. It is not easy when having to go in and out of the hospital and I cannot pretend to imagine it but I can encourage and motivate you that you should give your body time to recover, and in that time, work on the emotional part.
I am also on a journey of personal growth and motivation and I am learning how to speak positive affirmations to myself everyday. It is not easy, but I am trying to make it into a habit. I am here to write and connect if you ever need to just rant or talk. Hugs from sunny Vienna – xoxoxo S.
I just read this post in the bath. I was definately doing something for myself to make myself feel happy. Having children is tough on the body. It is hard to love ourselves again. Brilliant tips, thank you for sharing them with #abrandnewday
Totally agree! I am not a mom but can still relate to what you have mentioned here, when we get busy with lives we tend to neglect ourselves, we do not give us time and I am sure it can become even more challenging when you are a mom! Well put, Sheri! And yes, attractiveness comes from within!
I can only imagine what it must be like. Maybe doing something like yoga could help you to love your body and regain confidence?
I’ve recently joined a new ‘Slimming World’ group – which promotes the benefits of healthy eating. They are champions, just like your tips here, of how important it is to look after your own mental well being as often this boils down to true beauty! If you’re happy on the inside – it comes through on the outside. Of course, eating well and living well helps to 🙂
Great post! I’m loving life and I decided that its about me first. My children are grown now, so its a fun time in my life.
After having 2 kids within 2 years I feel like this speaks to me. My body has drastically changed and I am starting to love the body and skin I am in because hey we only get one body!
Love this post! I’ve read so much about the postpartum event, but as for me, even if i’m not a mom, I just admire you and all the moms for what they do! So loving yourself is a first step and it comes from within. Body change is a change, but eventually, it’s not bad thing. Reading you made me understand the issue and the solution much better!
Some excellent straight forward tips there!
The most important things for me “to feel like me” is to exercise every day, spend time outside every day and read for pleasure every day. When we were taking prenatal classes with my husband before the first baby, they were stressing that some women who suffer from postpartum depression hide it from their significant others because they feel ashamed. So, my husband asked, how he would know after the baby was born. if I needed help. I told him, if I neglect any of the three above, then he would know that there is something definitely wrong with me.
What a gorgeous post! Thanks for the tips! x
Love this! Yes, “love thy self” is so important. After having my youngest, I couldn’t lose the baby weight as quickly and I was so hard on myself. It’s not always easy, but I’m slowly embracing my new curves while working on my weight loss goals.
I couldn’t agree more! True confidence starts within yourself – not how you look or what you wear.
confidence, very true:) great tips, thanks for sharing #abrandnewday
Great advice for moms! I dont have kids yet but yeah remind me to pack some sex underwear in my hospital bag when I give birth! Sexy start within!
I definitely agree with the ladies here confidence is key to feeling sexy. I am not a mommy yet and I have experienced moments of low confidence but I have learned to love who I am and build my confidence by working out and doing positive things that makes me happy.
Whenever I am feeling really down about the post baby body, I always go and buy something to wear that I love!
All wonderful tips. A confident woman is a beautiful woman. My daughter and I have been talking about that recently.
This is a great post. It is so important to feel sexy after kids. I love this!
I have found that it’s more about feeling comfortable with myself again; and at the same time figuring out what that is, and what it feels like now. You’re right that it’s really not about what one looks like. Great post!
Positive thinking is such a huge thing! It took me a long time after baby 2 to figure that out 🙂
I really think this applies to women of any age, not just new moms. The sexiest thing a woman can wear? Self confidence and a smile. A woman can literally light up a room, if she walks in like she owns it!
I can remember the struggle after having my first child. I can really relate. It seems as though you are on the right track, though!
Fake it till you make it! I’ve definitely had to dig deep to find my inner beauty dince becoming a mom.
Being confident is so important to feeling pretty! Your tips are so helpful and it’s important to remind yourself that you’re sexy no matter what.
I love this! Awesome tips. Confidence is definitely key <3
I love this post! I try to also write about loving your post baby. It is not always easy, and I can totally relate to living in oversized shirts and forgetting what make up is!
I never really felt like I was sexy and def not after having kids. My stomach will never be the same. I wish I would of appreciated it more before.
“Pretty isn’t a look, it’s a feeling” is so powerful. More people need to say this to themselves often. When I had my boys, I was constantly berating myself. It wasn’t until years later that I realized something – when men find you attractive, that is what they see. They don’t see what you think. So, just let them love on you and ask them to vocalize what they see so that you too will see it or at least train yourself to see it. Believe me, a guy isn’t gonna lie about these things. Guys are cool like that I think.
After 4 years I’m still trying to get my sexy back. I tell myself that I don’t look great any more even though I’ve been told the opposite. It’s definitely time for me to start doing more things for me.
These are all great ideas. Having kids sure does change your body, and mind. You have to take time and take care of yourself.
Great ideas for any woman! I’ve never had a baby, but these are fantastic to make anyone feel sexier.
These are great ideas! My ‘baby’ is 9 and I am still guilty of ALL of this. If I can wear yoga pants and a tank top – I do!
Post pregnancy is such a difficult time. We should encourage more women to think like this.
Aw hun I know the feeling and I am not even pregnant or even have children. I think scheduling me time and as you say doing the things you love will definitely help. Plus mud baths sounds cool!
All great ideas and all super important to feel fabulous! Loving the idea about dancing! You go, girl! Dance-Dance-Dance!
You hit the nail on the head with this one. Sexy is about how you feel. I think it is important to note: not all women want to feel sexy. It shouldn’t be a crime to want to set that aside and focus on other things, too!
I feel sexier when I eat right and workout. When I slack on either of those things I start to feel like I am in a slump.
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Wow! This post really hit home for me! Yes, definitely having a baby turns your entire world upside-down, no matter if it’s the first, the second, or the third. After each of my pregnancies, I had a difficult time feeling like myself again, and I had to work hard to feel confident, strong, and sexy again. Yes ladies, you have to work hard to feel good about yourself after having a baby. It doesn’t just come back to you, you need to make it happen. And it’s also difficult for your partner to understand how you feel. But be sure that you WILL get your mojo back. so, enjoy your baby and stop the negative thinking before it becomes a habit.
Hi Fabi! I am glad to hear other moms feel this way not only after their first child, but after having other kids too. I have both good and bad days where I feel like I look alright, or when I simply hate to walk past the mirror. It is hard work and something I work on everyday. I appreciate you sharing your experience.