This post may contain affiliate links. Read full disclosure here.
This post may contain affiliate links. Read full disclosure here.
Is Low Self-Confidence Cramping Your Style?
Self-confidence is extremely important in every aspect of our lives. Yet so many people struggle with low self-confidence..
For some, the littlest things can them into a terrible cycle of low self-worth.
Upbringing, self-image, body language, the way we walk, talk, dress, interact, are all factors that tie into self-confidence.
Think back to when you were growing up, did you have emotional love, support, positive affirmations, encouragement or confidence building skills?
I hope you answered yes to this. If not, some or all of these reasons may be why you are lacking low self-confidence.
Recognizing the signs that indicate you have low self-confidence may either be glaring or hard to detect.
Here are five warning signs that may resonate with you.
1. You Are Sorry For Everything
You are always saying sorry. Be it your fault or not, you are sorry.
For many of us, the word “sorry” has become something we re-actively utter. It might seem like a small and harmless habit to avoid drama, but realize this, it can actually lower your self-esteem and self-confidence.
Do not be so quick to apologize for things you didn’t do. your apologies will automatically tell others that you think you are responsible for the issue. Even if you aren’t.
I don’t make unnecessary apologies anymore. I have realized that it sends the message that I’d rather be agreeable than be honest.
Yes, being sorry is easier than dealing with conflict. It’s much less stressful. Being worthy and self-confident is much more rewarding.
Easy Fix: When you hear yourself apologizing, acknowledge that the apology is inappropriate and remind yourself that you did not do anything wrong. This will give you great peace of mind.
2. You Devalue Your Achievements And Deflect Praise
You receive a compliment, but don’t know how to accept it. Something great happens to you say you were blessed or in the right place at the right time.
The truth is you’ve done worked hard, and earned somebody’s respect and admiration. What do you say to that?
For a long time, when someone would tell me I looked nice or they loved my hair, thanked me for doing a great job at work, I would spend so much time analyzing their words.
Thinking that it couldn’t possible to deserve positive feedback. Therefore anyone who paid me compliment must be either lying, confused, or feeling sorry for me. I had to change my mindset in order to grow my self-confidence.
Easy Fix: When someone gives you a compliment, say “thank you.” Own it. Receiving congratulations for a job well done? Again, if you can’t bring yourself to say you are happy about it and you deserve it, say “Thanks, I appreciate that.” Be appreciative, a compliment is a gift.
3. You Are Indecisive
Not trusting yourself to make decisions and constantly questioning yourself will leave you indecisive. Most times there is no right or wrong choice to make.
I am pretty indecisive about what to wear and what to eat. Those are two points where I have to think over and over again, make a choice, change my mind, decide, change my mind again. Ugh!
In regards to making more important decisions in life, more often than not, we’re indecisive because we’re afraid. At times, indecisiveness is a result of too much thinking. There comes a time when no matter how much you think about it, the decision is not going to get any easier.
Easy Fix: Make a list of the pros and cons for each of your options.The act of writing down every facet of the situation, good and bad, is very clarifying and your answer will become crystal clear.
4. You Shop To Feel Better About Yourself
Have a bunch of clothes you don’t intend to wear, wish you could wear, are not even your style? Yet you bought all these items when you were feeling down? Been there, done that. Haven’t we all at some point in life?
You find that you are always looking for that one item that will make you feel better about yourself. That item that will finally allow you to be accepted, or fit in. Sounds like you are trying to fill a void. Living for approval are killers of both joy and self-confidence.
Easy Fix: Stop comparing yourself to others. Find pleasure and acceptance within yourself. Material items should never be used to satisfy you or justify your existence.
5. You Are Avoiding The Real World
Are you still afraid that people won’t like you, and their opinions matter so much that you rarely leave the house because it means meeting or dealing with people.
You sit behind the computer all day because it’s easier to be liked and accepted on social media than it is in person. You need to go out and get practice. Interact with family, friends, strangers even.
Easy Fix: Smile at someone just for the hell of it. Test it out, and then watch and see how your self-confidence gradually increases. Believe in you.
How Do You Intend To Change Your Low Self-Confidence?
So how many of these lack of self-confidence signs do you see in yourself?
Always do what you believe to be right, even if others mock or criticize you for it. Be willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things.
How do you deal with low self-confidence? Have you mastered the art of high self-confidence? Share your experiences with me in the comments section below.
These are great reminders on how to build up from low self-confidence. I learned many years ago in therapy how much I used to apologize for things. And now this explains why I wanted to go shopping after therapy! LOL
This is what I feel today because of the pain in my heart. It’s bursting with pain because of a non-stop third party. Sometimes, it is easy to say but difficult to do it because you have to think of finances, getting older and your child. I don’t know.
Most things are easier said than done. I hope you are feeling alright or better now. Please reach out to me if you need a neutral person to talk to. Sending you strength, love and light today. xoxo
When I was a young wife and mother, I was all too guilty of all of these indicators of low self confidence. Now that I am older, I try not to overthink things and am happier and more confident. Thanks for sharing what I think plagues every human at one time or another.
[…] who do not feel confident in their own skin, or have low self-esteem often turn to […]
[…] my self- esteem grows (slowly but gradually) I am willing to let people back into my […]
[…] Build self-esteem and self- confidence […]
This is absolutely true! I suffered from this for years before becoming a confidence coach. Thank you for sharing!
I believe we all went to this state in our life where we are not confident with ourselves. Glad to have overcome that in my 24 years living my life. Great post!
I think we all need to accept our flaws and love what we have. We need to realize we can never be everything but we are okay with who we are. We just need to believe in ourselves little by little. This post of yours is just awesome.
As women we do say sorry a lot. I don’t know why. What are we sorry for?
One thing I have learned is when someone pays me a compliment to not deflect it and to humbly accept and say “thank you”. I really like your tips on how to determine if you have low self esteem and what to do about it.
whenever I am in a room full of women, I hear so much apologizing. It is a trip. We say sorry instead of excuse me. I think some of us are programmed that way.
Totally agree with you! One other thing I would add is to surround ourselves with confident people who help boost our own confidence in times of self-doubt.
Great suggestions! I used to be the ‘sorry’ girl but that because exhausting after a while (lol). Now I’m the ‘sorry, not sorry’ girl. Life’s too short to be miserable. I embrace me and keep it pushing!
This is a great post and I know a few people who I will be sharing it with.
I’ve been this girl at moments in my life. They don’t last long, but I see it as a bit of checks and balance type of deal.
Surrounding yourself with people who build you up is important. When you know your worth you’ll be more apt to do this. Understanding your love language is a great way to find people capable of building you up.
I feel as if everyone can get insecure from time to time and something that always has room for improvement.
Out of the list, No. 4 helps me to feel good (talk about retail therapy) and it works! Sometimes when I feel emotional, this kind of therapy works on me.. yeah it hurts (seeingy billings, hehe) that’s why I always makes sure every purchases counts ☺
This is a wonderful lesson on self estimation. The 4th point could be better worded though… shopping while morale is low… I do get what you are trying to say though. I am sharing this with my daughters now. I can expect some discussions at dinner table today.
Thank you for your feedback Indrani. Looking forward to hearing about your dinner table discussions.
I think constantly saying sorry is not a good sign. It’s so important to be confident and to stand behind what you say and do.
I liked the points that you pointed out and that you provided fixes for the problems. One things I noticed that I recommend to clients as a life coach…what about prayer or meditation? Wouldn’t that be a possible 6th that you can add for a solution?
Hi Stephanie. Yes, I am so glad you mentioned it. I am still quite new to blogging so I have been trying to stay away from prayer and religion in order to stay neutral. I do believe that prayer works and I do a lot of meditation in the evenings to relax and get me to sleep after going through years of insomnia. I think maybe I need to consider being more open about my beliefs – not impose them on anyone but share. Thanks for the suggestion for number 6.
Good points on this post. I truly can’t remember feeling badly about myself. Certainly not as l got older. Amazing how much more secure you feel with age 🙂 .
I think these are great tips, even if for some it’s far more easily said than done
These are great questions to ask yourself and then find out why. Self confidence is so important and yet everyone struggles with it
You just described my husband to a tee. I do believe that he is very low in self-confidence. I still love though. I just wish he could get past this.
Hi Dawn. I think he can certainly get past it, if he can admit to himself that he needs to build his self-confidence. Glad he has you by his side, and maybe you can help him through it. It is a journey but one I think will be well worth it.
I have definitely experienced this after dealing with infidelity. I am so thankful to have friends who were very honest and helped me get my confidence back. Very well written!!!’
Very well researched points! Love that you’ve covered the causes of low self confidence and tips to overcome them. Sage advice to live by! 🙂
Great Read…and great way to get yourself in check. I dont necessarily think I have low self confidence but I find myself doing some of these…let me check myself TODAY!!! Thanks for sharing!!!
I remember when I used to suffer from it a long time ago, and it played into a lot of my anxieties. I had to learn to fight through it. This is good advice!
Unfortunately, I’ve been told my job interviewers and new people I meet that I have the opposite problem Each have there pros and cons for sure!
You mean they say you are over-confident?
Yeah I do often find myself suffering from low confidence. Sometimes when you try for so long and fail, it can break down a person. But it is important to remember all that we have accomplished. This post has really hit home for me.
Beautifully written post. I was amongst those people who used to apologise instantly just to avoid the drama that will follow. With time I figured out that this wasn’t the right thing to do and I feel good now.
I am so glad that you figured that out and are able to stand up for yourself. Not to say that confrontation or drama is fun, but sometimes you have to be strong and not instantly apologize, especially when you are not wrong.
You know, I remember being in that sorry for everything stage. Then one day I asked myself what was I apologizing for when I wasn’t doing anything wrong!
EXACTLY! Sometimes you need a little self reflection and realise that although you mean well, you are not doing yourself a favour. I like that you could have some self insight. Happy Weekend.
Such an informative post with tips. I try to be positive and confident most of the time. As a larger woman often I am ridiculed by my weight it does upset but I have learned to rise above it.
I hate it when people ridicule others based on their outward appearance. It is so illogical and unfair. I am glad you are staying confident and positive about it because you are a strong woman who never ever deserves to be treated that way. We all need to be more accepting of one another.
Great tips and warning signs for low self esteem. Its essential to be able to pick up on these things in ourselves and our family and friends.
You’re right! So many people who don’t have low self-confidence this post is so very great! Thanks for sharing these guide.
I have identified with several of these in my lifetime, and I know many other people have too. It is great that you gave some easy fix tips rather than just listing the signs.
I’m every single one of those! I’ve lacked confidence for as long as I can remember, and am not really sure why. It is difficult to change how you are as an adult, but I feel I’m slowly starting to. Thanks for your great tips 🙂
I love that you provided a fix for each dilemma. That’s the hardest part knowing what to do in those situations. Very helpful info!
I definitely feel like this is me in a couple instances. Thanks for pointing out that these could be due to low self confidence in some way or another.
I’m a person that has struggled with a lot low self confidence issues. I could totally relate to some of the points you’ve made here. Thank you for shedding some light on this matter
Definitely something to think about. I think I find myself in this position sometimes.
1. you are sorry for everything freaks me out, like hell no. one should own up to his or her own flaws, am i this kind of person? nahda and i can understand this post sometimes alot gotta be bent for the sake of friendship in some cases.
Oh! I could totally relate with some of these points when I was a teen but now things are not the same as time has taught me everything! Though there’re times in my life when I feel low and then running helps me to overcome everything!
These are a great tips, i have a low self confidence, Glad you share this with us
I suffer from chronic low self esteem and self worth. Working on it is extremely difficult at times.
I think everyone has low self-confidence from time to time. I see a lot of these signs in myself but I’m working towards getting better.
Ahhhhhi remember back in the day I use to be sorry for everything!! Even thu ha I couldn’t even be sorry about!!!! Glad I grew up to be a stronger, more confident person
I think most of these represent me when I was a teen. It’s nice to read this and realize how much I’ve grown since most of these don’t apply to me anymore.
I love the question that you asked at the beginning about how you grow up and if you had emotional support etc.
I had none of that and therefore can identify with all these on your list.
I have been trying each day to heal myself to healthy.
Thanks for sharing.
Such brilliant insight and wisdom shared here! I loved your points on sorry.
These are definitely signs to look out for when you’re not feeling like your awesome self or if you haven’t discovered how amazing you are. Self confidence is important especially if you’re out in the world, trying to make reach for your dreams.
Thank you for some of these tips that we may be able to detect ourself about self-confidence. And the easy fix advice as I may say would be very helpful.
I am working on this. I know I apologize a lot for things. I need to stop doing it.
i think we all struggle with low self confidence to some extent. Good to know their are ways to overcome it.
Statement #5- I could care less if nobody likes me that is just my personality I guess haha, but I think that is with everyone you know like if your afraid that people won’t like you that is there problem I guess, or maybe I am thinking of a different phrase. Not really sure lol myself.
I’m not sure why but it seems like low self-confidence is more common now than ever. Hopefully your tips will help those that suffer from it.
I am so guilty about doing this!!! This is great ways to help combat low self confidence!
I sometimes have doubts about work that I turn into clients, very high doubts. I have learned that if they keep returning they must like it. I used to point out what was wrong with what they liked…lol Now i simply say thank you when they compliment and keep notes on how to improve what I think is “wrong”. When I look back at the notes later on I find there is nothing wrong and I when I feel like contradicting a compliment to simply say thank you and leave it that.
If I’m honest I do have low self esteem but a lot of people who know me find this hard to believe as I put on such a front yet inside I’m dying
I feel you Candace. Me too. People always assume I am super confident and happy, meanwhile I have gotten good at masking my pain. I hope that you are able to work through the roots of your low self-confidence or self-esteem in order to be happier. The best time to start is now. I am hoping you have a good support system also. Have a look at this: http://www.purposefulhabits.com/positive-affirmations-part-one/
I think it will help you. There is a lot of power in the words we say to ourselves. If you want to talk, please reach out. xoxox S.
Great post! I had low self confidence when I was younger but I think as I’ve gotten older, I appreciate myself more and don’t worry so much about what people think. It still kicks in the odd time though!
To be honest, I don’t even know what to write, I see all of the signs in myself, it’s like you were basically describing my life. I guess I need to find my confidence.
I am still working on my confidence… so this signs could not be more true. Smiling at a stranger def makes a difference… making someone else day makes me feel better about myself.
I also have a low confidence before especially when having a decision in life. But i realize that we have to do every decision in our lives to learn from it. 🙂
Some great tips! Thanks for sharing them. I like to smile at everyone I meet, sure does make me feel better.
Loved reading this post, your pointers are so practical. I guess best way to feel confident is to open your thoughts in front of others and be comfortable with what you are and what you feel.
I am pretty thankful for the fact that I have pretty great confidence. It’s not overly so that it seems “bit**y”… It’s right on the money, and attracts others !
I am so guilty of a lot of these. Becoming aware is the first step in fixing the issue. Thank you for posting, it’s a real eye opener for me.
I say sorry far too many times in a day. It something that I definitely need to start being conscious of. Thanks for the tips!
Some practical and interesting solutions to dealing with low confidence or self-esteem. I enjoyed this article. The most important thing, for me, is to understand that only one person can change your circumstances and that person is YOU. Everyone else’s opinions about you have to be subordinate to your own, Love yourself.
You are so on point with this feedback. I love how you said other opinions are subordinate, we always forget that and let opinions of others affect us and our low self-confidence only increases. Thanks for stopping by! S.
Working on that confidence all the time. I am one to walk with my head down and blinders on. Surprised when someone says hi to me because my social circle is so small. I have gotten better with keeping my head up, saying hi to random people that pass by me and involving myself in activities.
I am working on this too Rose, actually looking into people’s eyes when I talk to them, or at least looking at the middle of their forehead so it seems I am looking into their eyes. For me it is more about being shy than having low self-confidence, but I understand you completely. Great that you are working on this and getting better at it.
It’s so difficult for young ladies these days. This is a good list to share with some of the young girls I know. Always best to start early.
I’ve made a conscious decision to remove sorry from my vocabulary. I caught myself saying it far too often.
That was a good idea. Are you finding it to be more beneficial?
I do have low self confidence and its largely rooted to my poor perception of self. Growing up I was abused by my stepmother, bullied by my peers and as a result am hugely critical and never satisfied. I find it hard to embrace the way I look but I am a lot better than I was before but there is still a long way to go .