Monday Musings: How Friendships Make You More Valuable

by Sheri @ Purposeful Habits
55 comments

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1991 – Long-Lasting Friendships In The Making

Friendships can be amazing, and here’s why. So last week I met up with a friend I had not seen since 1991! A friendship I at that time had no idea would last this long.

You see, we went to grade school together. My friend Anu, moved away at the end of 4th grade.

We had been in the same class from the second grade and became friends. When his family moved away, I never really thought about not ever seeing him again, or if we would have a friendship.

Years passed by and we didn’t se or hear from each other.

Thanks to Facebook, we were able to reconnect and build on our friendship. He lives in London and I live in Vienna. it seemed like every time we planned to find a way to meet, it would not work out. UNTIL NOW!

You can imagine my excitement when he finally bought his ticket and was heading to Vienna. 

To cut a long story short, we had a fun reunion with lots of food, drinks and most importantly laughter.

It is funny how you can reconnect with someone after 25 YEARS! and feel like you only saw the person yesterday. 

 

friendships in the making

 

Friendship is defined as a relationship of mutual affection between people. A stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association.

The value of friendship is something that few people really appreciate.

Most often time, it is that moment when you need a friend or someone to talk to that you know you can trust, that you realize just how important it is to have a strong relationship to another person.

We do not always have the time to get together with friends, but with technology these days, you can usually get a hold of them by phone, email or text and social media.

I prefer face to face conversations, however, we cannot always fit them into our schedule.

Good conversation usually equals a great friendship.

 

Why Is It Great To Have Friendships?

Simple. Good friends are good for your health, both in good and bad times.
Friends can help to:

– improve your self-confidence and self-worth

– increase your sense of belonging and purpose

– reduce your stress

– help boost your happiness

– reduce your stress

– support you and help you cope during tough times

– encourage you

– inspire and motivate you

 

friendships

 What Is A Healthy Number Of Friends?

Quality not quantity. Took me a while growing up to figure this one out!

It is excellent to have a diverse network of friends and acquaintances, especially for someone like me who travels a lot.

It is more important, though, to nurture a few close friends who will be there for you.
Do away with fair-weather friends. Those the types who are only a friend when circumstances are pleasant or profitable.

 

There Are Different Types of Friendships

 1. Friendships of Value

This is the type of friends where you value one another as people. You spend time together and one another’s company. There are no hidden agendas, and there is mutual trust and respect.
I love chatting with good friends for hours on the phone, or meeting for lunch or drinks and having a great laugh! It does wonders to my soul!

This is the highest form of friendship.

 

 2. Friendships of Mutual Interest

These kinds of friendships are usually based on a hobby or common interest. Dancing, yoga, sports, baby groups, art and so on. That is where your friendship is rooted.

Most times when one person loses interest in the hobby, the friendship ends.

 

 3. Friendships of Use

We all have one or two “friends” we never hear from except when they need something.
Once or twice a year, you get an email or text message from them asking how you are, or if you would like to meet for lunch or a drink.

In the back of your mind, you know they want or need something. an email That’s about as deep as the friendship goes. I sometimes find these requests irritating. It is so obvious why they are contacting you and you wonder if they have no shame!

At the same time, you must ask yourself why you are keeping this person in your life.

'True friends hear you even when you are silent.'' quote=''True friends hear you even when you are silent.''Click To Tweet

 Characteristics Of A True Friend

A true friend is not just sympathetic, they are empathetic. They share your feelings and are happy when you are happy, or sad when you are down.

A true friend will still love and respect you when you disagree.

Friendship is not about having the same opinions on all topics.

Have you had friendships tested when there is a disagreement? How did it end?

A good friend will give you advice and tell you what you need to hear (even though you may not like it).

True and close friends nurture friendships and communicate with you regularly. They are interested in what is going on in your life.

A true friend has earned your trust, just as you have earned theirs. You are able to confide in them about private and confidential matters in your life and do not ever have to worry about them sharing your information with another person.

 

 friendships nurtured

Why You Should Nurture Your Friendships

Nurturing friendships is a way to make sure that it continues to grow and become stronger.

Here are a few ways you can nurture your friendships:
– Listen
– Be Open
– Show Vulnerability
– Be kind
– Trust and show you can be trusted
– Be available
– Show empathy

Friendships will change and that is nothing to be afraid of. See it as a good and positive thing. This change is because people grow and it does not mean the friendship needs to end.

Boning with like-minded people are essential because they reflect back to us the ideals that are most important to us.
The oldest friendship I have is 26 years old. How about you?

 

Think about the friendships in your life. Is your support system a good, positive, motivational one? Or do you have friends in your life who undermine you?
After reading this, reflect and think about whether you are a good friend.

Share your thoughts on friendships with me in the comment section below.

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55 comments

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55 comments

Aziel Morte October 23, 2017 - 09:33

Such a great post and I love to read this I remember my friends on our province, I agree friendships are a great stress reliever for me.

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ayeshafarhad October 23, 2017 - 00:49

I absolutely love love reunion stories! I am so glad that you guys finally got to meet together! There is nothing precious in this world than laughing with your best mate!

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Middle Eats October 22, 2017 - 15:43

Such great insights. It took me many years to figure out that there were some people who were not worth wasting my time on – they were not true friends. Now I have the most beautiful group of friends, there is only a hand full of them but I don’t know what I would do without them, they are like family. Good friends are so important.

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Louise x (@withlovefromlou) October 22, 2017 - 10:51

I’m SO glad you got to see your friend again after all these years. My best friends don’t live close to me, but whenever we meet up we just pick up where we left off as if it were yesterday! I think that shows true friendship with their being no awkwardness 🙂

Louise x

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Yukti October 22, 2017 - 10:05

Really very beautiful thoughts on friendship. True friends are difficult to be found and if found then they should be treasured life long. Very true friends are great stress busters.

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Cătălina Nini October 20, 2017 - 22:31

There is an old saying, something like this ” If a friendship lasts 7 years, that`s forever”. I truly believe friends are the best version of ourselves, they inspire us and together we grow as human beings.

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David Elliott October 20, 2017 - 16:53

This is such a great post on friendship. Of course I love true friends most above all. That’s great you were able to reconnect with your friend after such a long time. I have a couple of friends like that.

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Aziel Morte October 20, 2017 - 13:04

Glad that you share this post it’s so hard to find a true friends but friends is a beautiful things.

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June October 19, 2017 - 20:49

I’ve always been someone who sucks at staying in touch with my friends after we part ways because life leads us down a different path. When I think about them I often wish I had put more effort into staying connected.. but after reading your story I’m thinking ‘Why not try and reconnect’? I mean it would be really nice to meet old friends again and see what they have been up to.

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Melanie May October 19, 2017 - 17:57

Great post and I totally agree with you. Friends are great for encouraging you especially to do things that may be out of your comfort zone or things that you think you can’t do.

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Ellie Chan October 19, 2017 - 16:18

I love this. So many things I wish I knew earlier in life. I remember as a child I just wanted Friends so I didn’t care how badly they bullied me at times but as I got older and when one friendship turned really toxic (over my decisions on my Wedding Day) I knew that to be happy I had to cut that person off and block them from everything. Its not about how many people we have but how good those people are to be with.

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Saint Facetious October 19, 2017 - 16:09

I love when you can reunited with someone after a few years, or 25 years in your instance, and still feel just as warm as when you parted. Now that’s a sign of true friendship!

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Sreekar Harinatha October 19, 2017 - 03:32

A nice way to objectively put together the nature of true friendships. As you say the real one is one who disagrees with you sometimes but still ends up doing it with you or helps you with it!

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Joline October 19, 2017 - 03:04

That’s precious how you guys reconnected after all these years. That’s a sure sign of true friendship, isn’t it? You don’t really need to see each other everyday but when you do see each other it’s like no time has passed.

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The Walking Map October 18, 2017 - 23:16

That’s what I love the most about FB. You can connect with people you thought were LOST FOREVER like the Black Sabbath song!

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Mike October 18, 2017 - 19:05

True friends are really hard to come by, but once you find one they can make all the difference. Great post!

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RoadsBestTraveled October 18, 2017 - 16:29

Definitely an important lesson to learn when developing real friendships – and figuring out who are your fair-weather friends. They’re all good for one purpose or another but knowing who is who is the important part!

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jajwalyark October 18, 2017 - 11:04

Hi!
In my short short life I have been fortunate enough to find not one, not two, but 4 friends who I have been close to since high school. What’s more, we just keep getting closer!
Thanks for this post, it is a moment of awesome friendly feels for me!

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allmydealsindia August 11, 2017 - 11:59

Friends are the best. They represent everything good in life

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Nya November 20, 2016 - 08:34

Hi Sheri, It was inspiring to read through this post. I couldn’t agree more with what you said about friendship. A loyal friend is irreplaceable and the most precious thing you can have in life. I have a friend I’ve known since high school, we now moved away from each other, but we still talk every day, and never lost the contact. It’s amazing what technology can do nowadays and also means that a friend is a friend no matter the distance.

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Stargazer Writes November 19, 2016 - 23:31

Friendship is built around trust. One of the best support system. You get to tell friends your rants and raves in life. Well, you really need to know who you hang around with. You don’t want to fall into a trap.

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Debbie J. November 14, 2016 - 11:40

Eventually, I grew to learn the difference between Friendships of Value vs Friendships of Use. It was painful, but the growth is appreciative. I thank God for my loyal and committed friends daily.

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Aleksandra November 13, 2016 - 08:57

To me loyalty is the number one attribute anyone can have. Especially friends.

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Lisa Rios November 12, 2016 - 20:44

When it comes to friendship, words could never be enough to explain the beauty of a true friend who stays with you, who stands for you when the rest of the world doesn’t. It is amazing when you get connected with a old friend with the help of Social Media and my oldest friendship is almost 30-years!!

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Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life November 13, 2016 - 04:33

You are so right Lisa. It is in those times you find out who is with you and who isn’t. Friendships that re real and true seem to be rare these days.

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jadoreledecor November 12, 2016 - 06:17

What a lovely article. I’m glad that you were able to reconnect with your friend after 25 years. It’s so true that friendships – at least the genuine ones- can help us to cope with just about anything. Thanks for sharing this.

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Live, Laugh, Love November 11, 2016 - 14:51

Friendships are amazing. I just got in touch with my best friend this year. We stopped talking for about 3 years and then I just decided to email her and talk to her. I missed my best friend and I wanted her back in my life.

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Anosa November 11, 2016 - 04:39

I have been a big believer in having a few TRUE friends who can help me grow and develop and I do the same for them than to have fake friends. I know which relationships are healthy for mine and there wellbeing and which are not

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joleisale November 11, 2016 - 04:23

I value true friendships and even though my friends live in different parts of the world, we reconnect every so often so the bond is always there. Loving your article. Wish you’d share a picture of you and your friend.

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Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life November 11, 2016 - 13:09

You are right I should add a pic of us. I thought about it, then changed my mind! So shy!!! Grrrrrr. 🙂

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Valerie Ratliff November 10, 2016 - 14:07

Amen. Friendships are needed all around. Men, women and children. It makes live better.

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Yana November 10, 2016 - 12:49

Friendship is a beautiful thing! Thank you for sharing!

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Ana Ojha November 9, 2016 - 23:27

Friendship is the most beautiful selfless bond in this world. Glad that you got a chance to meet your old school friend after 25 years and had fun! Thanks to the Facebook, we can connect with our old friends!

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Iza Abao, Two Monkeys Travel Group Writer November 9, 2016 - 20:46

I only have few close friends right now which I am very happy. We are all reliable to each other. It is so easy to talk to them. They tell me right away how they feel about my problem. They are not shy to tell me if I am being negative so I love them for their honesty.

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Ree love30 November 9, 2016 - 16:51

What a lovely post and so true! I definitely believe good friendships reduces stress in your life and yes to quality very quantity! Ree love30

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lydia@lifeuntraveledl November 9, 2016 - 15:51

One of the greatest things about Facebook is how people have been able to not only re-connect but to sincerely develop and maintain friendships. I’m always so amazed at how I meet someone after so many years and it was like we had seen each other just the week before.

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caseyp1110 November 9, 2016 - 15:46

You know your true friends because no matter the length of time between talks…you pick right back up. I am lucky to have a few of those 🙂

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seasaltsecrets November 9, 2016 - 14:44

I’ve always been one to only have a few close friends then lots of acquaintances. I agree nurturing these relationships is so impportant for happiness!

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MyYellowApron November 9, 2016 - 14:06

I have some really good friends and our friendsships go back to 15/20 years. We may not talk everyday, but whenever we do, its like, we never lost the touch. I always think, people who have true friends in their lives are truly lucky.

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Marleen (The Beauty Context) November 9, 2016 - 13:15

I once heard a saying (I suppose that’s what you can call it). If you can count your true friends on one hand, you know you have a good life. Friendship is a priceless thing and I do think that it is something to be valued.

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Befitting Style November 9, 2016 - 13:12

Wow! I’ve been friends with my best friends since the 4th grade!! How cool!

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Kintan Tanti Thurau November 9, 2016 - 12:55

I´m totally agreed with you, how important is the friendship and is not about quantity but is more quality. Specially also people like me who moved a lots in my life from country to another country. But how lucky we´re that we can stay connected with our friends via social media.

Kintan xo,

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katnapped November 9, 2016 - 11:31

Friendships are SO important. My best friend and I have known each other since we were 3 years old and I don’t know what I’d do without her. I am slow to grow fond of people and to open up so friendships to me are definitely quality over quantity 🙂
Katja xxx

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Julie Maloney November 9, 2016 - 10:12

I’m 39 and am still close with friends I made as a toddler. I’m also glad for social media for making it easier to keep in touch with all the people I’ve met throughout the years.

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Amber November 9, 2016 - 08:21

Friendships are important. I’m glad I have some. My husband is in the military so we move every few years so sometimes it’s tough to make friends. I’m thankful for Facebook at least.

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Jasmin N November 9, 2016 - 07:58

Quality definitely goes over the quantity!
Friendships are so important, I don’t know where I would be if I had no friends at all.

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Elizabeth allcock November 9, 2016 - 07:57

I have learnt over the years that it is all about quality not quantity I met my closest friends at university and we always meet up anytime we can!

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Shannon November 9, 2016 - 06:38

Beautiful. It was nice to read this this early morning. Some days you need to lean on people, and friends are sometimes the only ones even over family and spouses.

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Abigail Rowley November 9, 2016 - 06:37

True friendship means everything 🙂 Such a great post – thanks for sharing! xx

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K Maria Kazi November 9, 2016 - 06:24

Really good friends are the family we get to choose and we must treasure them.

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SofarsoSabine November 9, 2016 - 05:57

Yes friendship is so important! I am so happy with the friends in my life! xo Sabine

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Dannii November 9, 2016 - 04:40

Friendships really are amazing things, as long as they are healthy. It’s important to cut them off if they become toxic though.

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Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life November 10, 2016 - 03:48

I agree with you Dannii. Here is a post about how to get rid of toxic relationships http://www.purposefulhabits.com/enablers-accomplices/ we should always reject toxix people from our lives.

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suchi sen November 9, 2016 - 01:11

Yes, friendships are great stress busters, especially the ones you can really count on anytime of the day/night. Nice post!

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Blair Villanueva November 9, 2016 - 00:49

Hello Sheri,

Thank you for sharing friendships all about. We must treasure them because they are rare in this world. I have few trustworthy friends all spreading around the globe, and each time we meet, ohh my it’s a great joy!

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