Why Saying No Is So Important For You

by Sheri @ Purposeful Habits
38 comments

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 How Saying No Is The Best Way To Increase Emotional Growth

Say “No.” That’s it. End of post. That’s my advice. Saying no is the best way to keep yourself from unnecessary overwhelm and stress. We often say yes and agree to doing things without pausing to think about what we are getting ourselves into.

You need life advice? There you have it. Say no daily. That’s all to it. Watch your life change for the better! You will feel a sense of freedom and control. There is no reason you should feel pressured into saying yes all the time.

I know what you are thinking – is she kidding me right now? The answer is No. Ha! See how easy it is? Yes? No!

 

How Hard Can It Be To Say No? Very Hard!

It’s not an easy thing for many of us. This two letter word can be so hard to speak out sometimes. A word so simple yet so hard to use. The inability to say no has made life harder and more complicated for so many. I can write for days and days about being a people pleaser. I used to be one.

My mind, my heart, my gut would say No,no,no! And what would my mouth say? “Yes, sure, of course.”

When I think back to those days, I still can’t figure out why it tool me so long to say what I really meant.  What I know now is that saying no is the best thing because it leaves room for you to do other things you may have not otherwise had time for; simply because you made commitments without thinking about it first.

 

Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.Click To Tweet

 

Why Do We Find It Hard To Say No?

Mainly because we have been taught to associate the word no with negativity. Rejection, fear of conflict, judgement, hurt, lack of loyalty. Also, it is easy to say YES! It comes out of our mouths quicker.

Back when I was a people pleaser, I used to feel that saying no meant hurting the other person’s feelings. Disappointing them. Especially when someone had come to me requesting help or a favour.

I would even say yes because I did not know how to communicate or explain my reason for saying no.It was just easier to say yes. But you know what? I would regret it later and lacked the courage to go back on my word.

Not anymore. I say no and I do it with confidence. It is okay to do so and you do not have to feel bad or guilty. Make your boundaries clear because at the end of the day, the reactions and judgments of others belong to them, and not to you.

 

“My goal now is to remember every place I have been, only do things I love, and not say yes when I do not mean it.” Click To Tweet

 

If Saying No Is The Best Thing – Where Do I start?

You practice it.  That;s what you do. You learn to say no gracefully. Practice saying “no” in small, unimportant situations. When you feel tempted to buy something, or eat that extra piece of cake.

Stop and breathe before saying “yes,” to give yourself a little time to consider the commitment you are about to make as well as assessing your own needs and priorities. If the situation allows, ask for time to think about your decision.

To be able to say no will help you live more authentically into who you are. It is a skill we all need to learn.

Transform 'I should' into 'I choose' to.Click To Tweet

 

 Things You Should Be Aware Of

Potential Persuasion Techniques: Some people just don’t like to take no for an answer. They may use persuasion techniques or the “powers of persuasion” they believe they have to try to change your mind. Don’t fall for it.

Being Asked Multiple Times: If you say no to one thing, they may try to get you to agree to a smaller commitment or favor. Say no with confidence and remember to be firm.

Comparison Tactics: Comparing you to other people is another way people often used to get others to change their no to a yes. You do not have to do something simply because someone else did.

 

 3 Things To Remember When Saying No

  • Start with a compliment or gratitude.
  • Ask for more time before committing.
  • Thank and encourage the person.

Always remember that you do not need a reason to say “No.” If you do not want to do something, then you don’t have to do it. Remind yourself that it is your choice, your life.

Saying no is one of the best things you can do for your own peace of mind. You will not feel the need to  constantly try to please people out of fear. Put yourself first and start building or maintaining your self-worth. You will find that you are not overwhelmed and overloaded with tasks and priorities of others simply because you said YES.

Be true to yourself, your convictions, and your priorities.Click To Tweet

 

Did you enjoy this post? (Don’t say NO! – LOL).

How do you approach situation when you have to decline a request to your family, friends, coworkers, kids, or boss?

Please share them with me in the comments section below.

Download the Negative vs. Positive Ways To Say No Infographic in my FREE RESOURCE LIBRARY.

Purposeful Habits xoxo Sheri

38 comments

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38 comments

Ela Carrillo September 20, 2017 - 12:50

I always have problem saying NO.. This is a good read. Thanks for sharing

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Patricia @ Grab a Plate March 23, 2017 - 00:39

I *did* enjoy this post! I used to be a people pleaser, too, and you’re right: it’s no fun in the end! I’m trying to perfect my art of saying no. Practice makes perfect 😉

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Michelle Waller February 28, 2017 - 10:42

I have learned that saying No is ok a lot this past weekend. It is even healthy to say no.

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jewel gibson February 21, 2017 - 22:01

Yesss!!! I had to learn how to say No the heard way as well. It was very difficult at first because I am very generous and want to help everyone. I quickly realized that saying “no” helped me create boundaries and not allow myself to commit to things I know I can’t do.

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creativethriftychef February 21, 2017 - 21:00

I say No a lot of times, I listen to what my guts says. Most of the time my guts is right. On some people when you tell them No they seems to have a hard time accepting it. But for me NO is no and yes is yes. Not no is yes and yes is no. Well at least that’s how people think sometimes.

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Nichole February 21, 2017 - 18:04

I agree 100%. I too was a people pleaser. I began saying no last year. I found family can be the worst manipulators. So, I had to choose me and my children. I love this. Yes, I say everyone should know their limitations and decline politely if the request will make them uncomfortable, cause a hardship, or unreasonable.

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Aryn February 21, 2017 - 17:44

This is great advice that is very hard to take but I’m working on it! I find this really hard to do at my day job but I’m getting better at it in my side business. If you say yes to too many things, you won’t have anything left yourself.

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Marielle Altenor February 21, 2017 - 15:57

Seriously just say no! I can’t tell you how many times I didn’t listen to my gut and said yes to something and ended up 1. working extra for free, 2. not even getting a thank you. 3. stressing out about the whole thing. SO yes, say no, and don’t be afraid!

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Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life March 1, 2017 - 03:47

I know exactly what you mean. Then you regret not listening to your gut and feel silly because you are not even appreciated. I get you completely on this one.

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Megan Campbell February 21, 2017 - 14:59

I need to learn to say no more! Great article!

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Sophie Whiffen February 21, 2017 - 11:36

thanks so much for this post. Saying no gives you so much permission. Great tips!

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Divya @ Eat. Teach. Blog. February 21, 2017 - 10:30

I like that you provided alternate ways to say “no.” I have a hard time saying no because I think it sounds spiteful or rude, but in the ways in which you’ve phrased it, it doesn’t sound bad at all!

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Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life March 1, 2017 - 03:49

Yes Divya – sometimes it is all about the words and the tone that we use. Sometimes we may feel bad for saying no, but if it is necessary, then go ahead and never feel guilty about it.

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How To Save Time And Boost Your Productivity February 21, 2017 - 08:05

[…] I wrote a post on this which will help you tremendously. In it I explain why saying “no” can be one of the best things you do daily. You can read it here. […]

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Stargazer Writes February 20, 2017 - 18:39

Thanks for this post. Declining also helps us overcome peer pressure. It also enhances our autonomy and decision making skills.

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The Trophy WifeStyle February 20, 2017 - 16:53

Omg yes!!! Just love this. I have been pretty good lately about saying no to things that don’t serve any purpose to me. Life has beeen better because of it

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Angela Milnes February 20, 2017 - 16:12

Such a good post I enjoy reading this, and now this is exactly what I need I’m suffering in this struggle glad that you share this post

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Yona Williams February 20, 2017 - 13:28

I’ve always had a hard time saying ‘no’ because I didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings. But, you are right…you really need to say it more often…to save your sanity and take back your life (in some cases).

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Elizabeth O. February 20, 2017 - 10:06

This speaks volumes. We hate disappointing people so we end up disappointing ourselves instead. It’s important that we know our limit and we respect our time as well. Saying no is freeing, but it’s important to say no the right way so as not to hurt a person’s feelings.

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Elizabeth February 20, 2017 - 08:10

I’ve recently begun to do this too and it’s really improved my quality of life. I was spreading myself out too thin before.

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Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life February 20, 2017 - 10:01

Yayyy! Good for you Elizabeth. You will have more free time and I am glad you made this choice. Have a wonderful day and week! Sheri

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natalielovesbeauty February 19, 2017 - 23:38

Oh man how I’ve struggled to say no in the past. I’ve become much better at it these days without feeling guilty.

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My Rambling Reviews February 19, 2017 - 21:28

I need to start doing that, I always say yes then I’m like why did I do that. No is a answer I need to start being more vocal on!!!

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Terri Ramsey Beavers February 19, 2017 - 16:35

I’ve got to start saying no. Just today I gave into something I didn’t really want to do because I couldn’t say no.

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Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life February 20, 2017 - 10:12

Oh Terri I really hope you are able to learn how to say no. It is so hard and sometimes we feel guilty, but you really should not do anything you dont want to do. You can download the “Positive Ways To Say No” guide from my resource library here: http://www.purposefulhabits.com/resource-library/ I really think it will help. xoxo Sheri

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Sylvia @ Happiness is homemade February 19, 2017 - 14:16

I’ve been guilty of pleasing people too! But luckily at one point I’ve learned how to say no!

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emmaeatsandexplores February 19, 2017 - 12:48

Im definitely guilty of being a people pleaser. I’m always so keen to not disappoint that I end up overstretching myself and stressing myself out all because I was a fraud to say no. Must try harder!

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Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life February 19, 2017 - 13:46

I believe in you Emma and I think you will be able to learn how to do it, slowly but surely. Download my free negative vs. positive ways to say no guide in my Resource Library here: http://www.purposefulhabits.com/resource-library/

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Kaleigh February 19, 2017 - 09:30

Balance is key!! There are so many articles saying “say more yes” but you make great points about saying more no. I think balance is so important with this so we’re not depriving ourselves of experience but still doing what’s in our best interest.

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Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life February 19, 2017 - 10:41

You are so right Kaleigh. I think balance is key as well. I think saying yes too often and being a people pleaser is detrimental, while saying no all the time and becoming a recluse is not healthy either. Balancing the two and learning the benefits of saying no is great. It will leave you feeling happier and better. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Happy Sunday. 🙂

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SofarsoSabine February 18, 2017 - 17:39

Your post is very true. I liked reading it. The positive ways of saying no are very helpful. Great to remember myself again that I don’t always have to say yes!

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MishyV February 18, 2017 - 14:24

Oh I know this struggle and I still have it sometimes but I’m trying to do my best to actually say “no” when I mean it… it saves you so much headache, time and so many worries

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Jasmin N February 18, 2017 - 14:03

I’ve always been good at saying no for some reason. This year, I made saying yes one of my personal goals – of course, only to things I’m comfortable with. Won’t be saying yes to stuff I don’t like haha!

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Katja Knox February 18, 2017 - 13:33

I used to be terrible at saying no buy nowadays my confidence and willingness to look after myself are higher so I don’t mind declining every now and again.
Katja xxx

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Nora February 18, 2017 - 10:06

Good post! It’s so important to find balance in modern life in which you always seem to have million things going on simultaneously. Saying no is hard but you just have to do it sometimes.

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Little Louvain February 18, 2017 - 10:02

What a great post!
I’m that kind of person who can’t say no, I always say yes to everything. And well, I do so much stuff that I litteraly have no time for myself anymore…

Loved reading this!

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Sandra Tsai February 18, 2017 - 09:29

Great post! Interesting read because I actually feel like I need the opposite advice. Sometimes I’d just brush off an invite to some social gathering because things like that make me a bit anxious, but I am trying to get myself out of my comfort zone by saying yes more! 🙂

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Sheri @ A Busy Bees Life February 18, 2017 - 09:46

Yes! LOL. I think that is a great idea Sandra, it is important to be able to say yes too and interact and socialize with others. Here is a post that will help you: http://www.purposefulhabits.com/step-out-of-comfort-zone/ you can learn more about the things you can do to get out of your comfort zone. Have a great day! Sheri xoxox

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